


CARELESS WITH LOVE

by ksstarfire



Category: Starsky & Hutch
Genre: Angst, Love, M/M, Making Up, Pain, relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-05
Updated: 2017-05-01
Packaged: 2018-10-15 06:15:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 10,309
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10551450
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ksstarfire/pseuds/ksstarfire
Summary: Love never runs smoothly... even for me and thee.How does one fix what one broke?Sometimes there's not enough tape and glue in the world.And sometimes... one gets lucky.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I started working on this story before I became ill. It's sat for a long time and I've forgotten some of the story. Sigh. I'm working on finishing it and thought by posting a chapter or two at a time it might MAKE me get it finished. Well, that's the premise I going on.  
> I promise to try to post at least one chapter a day.  
> Thank you for your patience!

Hutch was running late and had just started to walk into the squad room. He stopped when he heard Starsky saying, “I think that woman is smokin' hot and I wanna get in her pants. But not sure Hutch would like that.” Hutch was stunned. Had Starsky just outed them? Not only possibly outed them, but worse, he also wanted to have sex with some woman…?

“God.” He felt the breath leave his body like he had been punched in the gut. He bent forward a little trying to catch his breath. He hadn’t known. Hadn’t had a clue. Pain racked his body. Worse than when his car had rolled down that canyon and trapped him. Why hadn’t Starsk said something… told him? In private?

He looked around. No one had seen him standing by the open door. He could leave and no one would know. He had to leave. Now. Before Starsky saw him and pretended any more. Before he looked Starsky in his eyes and saw the truth. And heard Starsky say words of love that Hutch now knew for the lies they were. 

He pushed away from the door. He stumbled a couple of steps. He heard Starsky call out to him. He took off running down the hallway. He heard pounding feet behind him and ran faster. With his shorter legs Starsky would never catch him. Hutch had too big a lead. 

He headed down the stairs taking them two and three at a time. Again he heard a yell for him to stop. He dug the keys to the LTD out of his pocket as he hit the door to the parking garage. He bumped into a patrol officer coming in the door. “Sorry.” 

He kept running. His heart was in his throat. He stomach was threatening to rebel. His eyes were burning.  
And one question kept shouting over and over in his brain, “Whywhywhywhywhywhy?”

***********************  
“Damn it!” Starsky bent over with his hands on his knees. He had hit the parking garage just in time to see the taillights of the LTD turn out onto the street. “Damn! He had to have heard what I said.” He grabbed the keys out of his tight jeans and ran to the bright red Torino. “I gotta get to him before he bolts.” And, knowing his partner like he did, he knew that was what Hutch intended to do. He would grab a few things and run as far and as fast as he could. He would disappear… like he had never been here. Starsky couldn’t let that happen. It would kill him. 

And probably kill Hutch too. 

As soon as the motor turned over he was squealing the tires out of the garage. He knew it was breaking the law, but he slapped the MARS light on the roof and hit the siren button. He had to catch Hutch and fix this. 

*********************

He’ll follow me. I know he will. Just like he knows I’m running. His guilt won’t let me go like this. He’ll want to explain. Hutch felt another punch to his gut. Explain? He didn’t need any explanations now. He had heard the truth. A sob escaped. “Hold it together, Hutch.” He tightened his grip on the steering wheel… and his emotions. 

He shut down. He was running on pure instinct now. Think. He had to think. No… he had to out-think Starsky.

Hutch did a quick tally in his mind of what he had in the car with him right now. He had picked up his clean laundry, from the lady who did it, this morning. He had watered his plants last night, so they would be ok until he could make plans. He quickly turned away from the street leading to his house. He would have liked to grab his guitar but instead he drove to his bank. Besides, Starsky had given him that guitar. He parked, got out, ran in and pulled everything he could from his account without closing it. He hurried back to his car. 

Starsky might not be able to keep up with him in a running contest, but there was no contest when it came to their cars. As Hutch came out of the bank he heard a siren then saw the Torino speed by on the way to his house. “Wow... Starsky breaking the law? He must really want to talk… no…” Hutch snorted, “lie to me some more.” 

Hutch got in his car and made sure the red and white car was around the next corner before he pulled out of the bank parking lot… heading in the exact opposite direction. He kept his speed just over the limit figuring he could flash his badge if he got pulled over. If Starsky could break the law, so could he. 

If Starsky could so easily and flippantly break his heart… No! Now wasn’t the time to think about that. He blanked his mind to everything except his need to escape to a sanctuary. One where no one could find him. One where he could heal… or die trying.

**********************


	2. Chapter 2

“Shit, shit, shit.” Starsky pounded his hands on the steering wheel. The LTD wasn’t at Venice Place. Starsky brought the car to a rocking halt and killed the lights and siren. Could I have passed him? Missed his car stopped somewhere? He pulled the keys from the ignition and pushed the door open. He ran up the steps. Maybe Hutch had parked in the back.

At the top of the stairs he tried the door. Locked. Feeling above the door frame, he found the key. “He could have used the back entrance.” Starsky used the key calling out, “Hutch?” as the door swung open. He did a quick look through the apartment. Hutch’s guitar sat propped against the couch.

“He’ll come back for that. He wouldn’t leave without it.” 

Then again it was the guitar Starsky had given him last Christmas. Maybe he wouldn’t want it? Starsky stood in the middle of Hutch’s living room hands on his hips his head hanging. 

Why? Why had he been so careless with his most cherished treasure? 

He fought with himself over whether to stay in case Hutch showed up. Or start looking? If he stayed it would give Hutch that much more of a head start. But if he left… and Hutch did come back here? 

Picking up the phone he dialed. “Hug? If Hutch comes in there keep him there, okay? I don’t have time to explain right now, but I will. If he comes in call the station, have them patch you through to me.” He hung up the phone, decision made. 

He wrote a quick note which he left on the coffee table. “Hutch, it’s NOT what you think! PLEASE talk to me.” He left after locking the door and replacing the key. He ran down the stairs and tried think of where Hutch would go first. He slid across the hood of the Torino, jumped in, and sped off to his first stop. He prayed while his fists gripped the wheel with white-knuckled strength. 

It was a short ride to the bank. They both used it. And they were both on each other’s accounts as DPOA’s. He had to be calm. He couldn’t afford to make anyone wonder why he needed the information he sought. 

“Hello, Starsky. You just missed Hutch. How may I help you?”

His heart dropped. “Hey, Irene. Shoot, I was hoping to head him off. I changed my mind about something and needed to tell him before he went and spent a ton of money.” He pasted on his best “ah-shucks-I-am-so-cute-you-want-to-tell-me-all” smile, “Did blondie clean out his account?"

It had taken a bit more persuasion, but Irene had given up the amount, after being reminded that Starsky’s name was on the account too.

***** 

Starsky got back in the Torino. “Now what, genius?” He tried to think like Hutch would. Hutch was hurting and probably ashamed. He more than likely thought Starsky had not only outed their relationship, but that Starsky had admitted he was lusting after some woman. “Damn.” 

Where could Hutch have run to? It wouldn’t be anywhere he thought Starsky might know about. Starsky racked his brain trying to remember any places his lover had mentioned interest in. He knew he wouldn’t go to Dobey’s cabin, because he would know that would be one of the first places Starsky would look. There was a town north of Bay City that Hutch had talked about them visiting some time. A small place with only a couple of stop lights in it. What was the name of that town? 

No matter how hard he tried he couldn’t remember the name of it. He pulled the atlas out from under his seat and started looking at small towns to the north. Then he stopped. Hutch would probably remember telling him about it and wouldn’t go there. Starsky threw the atlas into the back seat.

“Now what?”

California was too big for him to search blindly. As much as he didn’t want to he might have to get Captain Dobey involved. But he didn’t know what to tell Dobey. He’d talk to Huggy first. Then… well then he’d have to figure out something.

*****


	3. Chapter 3

Starsky walked into The Pits and headed for the table he and Hutch usually sat at. His heart stuttered as he thought of the last time he and Hutch had been here. How much they had laughed and teased each other. How could he have been so stupid? Sure, Dobey wanted to know if the new detective who had transferred in might be guilty of sexual harassment, but there had to have been a better way and time to find out! Hutch had been late that morning or he would have known what was going on. Starsky should have waited for Hutch to get there. 

Huggy came walking over to the table with a couple cups of coffee. “Figured you might want this instead of beer. What’s going on?” He looked at Starsky’s face and knew it was bad. “Hutch? What’s going on with Hutch? Is he hurt?”

“Not the way you mean, but yeah, I hurt him, Hug. I hurt him bad. And I think he’s bolted. He didn’t come by here?” Starsky looked up with a hopeful look on his face.

“No, man. Want to tell Huggy about it?” He sat down across from Starsky. 

“Dobey wanted me to vet this new detective who transferred from another station. I guess he left there because of a sexual harassment charge. Dobey wanted to know if he’d learned his lesson or not.” Starsky stopped and wiped a hand across his face. “Hutch was late and walked in while I was telling Stewart that I wanted to screw this woman. Hutch took off running. I couldn’t catch up with him. I went by his house but he wasn’t there. Then I went by our bank.” After a deep breath he continued. “He cleaned out his account. He bolted, Huggy. And I have no idea where he might have gone.”

Huggy took a sip of his coffee before he answered Starsky. “Not sure. Think he might have gone to Dobey’s cabin?”

“No, he knows I’d check there.” Starsky looked down at his cup and turned it around and around on the table. “What am I gonna do? I have to talk to him.”

Huggy took another sip and looked at Starsky. “If I hear from him I’ll let you know. I can put some subtle feelers out for you.”

“Thanks.” Starsky got up and left the bar. He got in the Torino and headed back to Hutch’s place. Maybe he’d come back.  
*****


	4. Chapter 4

Hutch headed north on the Interstate. He’d told Starsky about this town but figured Starsky wouldn’t remember. It would be the perfect place to stay while he figured out what he wanted to do next. He’d need to call Dobey and take a few days off. He’d call Huggy and get him to go over to water his plants. 

There was a liquor store on the edge of town where he could buy a couple of six packs. He’d open a beer and have a few sips. Then he’d allow himself to release the pain he was feeling.

***** 

Starsky let himself back into Hutch’s place. Strange, it already felt deserted in some way. He walked around picking up things here and there, remembering stories Hutch had told him about them. He stacked the magazines and papers into a neat pile on the end of the coffee table. There was a coffee mug on the end table. Starsky picked it up and walked into the kitchen with it. Putting it in the sink, he reached over and opened the refrigerator door. They had had plans to relax here when they got off work today. There was beer and the fixings for pizza and appetizers. He grabbed a beer, opened it, and went back in the living room to sit on the couch. 

“What a mess.” 

They hadn’t been lovers for long. Starsky knew Hutch was insecure about their relationship at times. Hutch had seen the number of women who had gone through Starsky’s life. God, Hutch was the most beautiful person in the world. Why couldn’t he see that? Hutch was all Starsky wanted. Now and forever. He HAD to find him.

The telephone was sitting on the coffee table so Starsky picked it up and called Captain Dobey. “Hey, Cap, I… ah… has Hutch talked to you today?”

“No. What’s going on? He never showed up for work today! What the hell is going on? I don’t pay you two for days you just don’t want to come in!” 

“Cap’n… remember you wanted me to try to get a read on Stewart? Well, he was looking at one of the R and I girls and I could see him practically drooling. So I walked over and started staring at her too. Stewart made a couple of comments, and I said ‘I think that woman is hot and I wanna get in her pants. But not sure Hutch would like that.’ Hutch walked in just as I said that.” Starsky hesitated. “Uhhh… Hutch and me… well…”

“I know about the two of you, Starsky. I have almost from the start. I knew… maybe even before the two of you knew it.”

“Cap’n… ?” Starsky was suddenly very nervous.

“Relax, Dave. You two are my best detectives. What you do on your time off is none of my business. So this stays between us. Now, what happened?”

“Hutch heard what I said, and he bolted. If he calls you, just tell him I need to talk to him. Tell him what he heard wasn’t… real.” Starsky didn’t know what else to say. Then he thought of this, “And find out where he is. Please?”

“Will do, Dave. I’ll let you know.”

Starsky hung up the phone and sagged back on the couch. “Hutch has to know what he means to me. I mean I told him that I love him. Didn’t I? Surely I did.” He thought back over the three weeks since he and Hutch had taken their relationship that final step to being lovers. Hutch had told him “I love you.” What had he replied? 

Starsky searched his brain, trying to remember what he had said. 

“Oh, God.” Now he remembered. He’d been scared of saying that to Hutch. This was all so new to them both. So he had answered with, “You got good taste.” And he had laughed. Why hadn’t he told Hutch how he felt? 

“No wonder he took off when he heard what I said.” Starsky could have cheerfully beaten himself up right there and then. “Hutch, why didn’t you trust what we had?” Then he thought, “Why didn’t I trust you with words of my love? Why did I hold back?”

He had a lot to make up for. A lot to say, “I’m sorry” for. Now if he could just find Hutch, he could get this all straightened out in a few minutes. Well, maybe an hour with all the groveling he was going to have to do.  
*****


	5. Chapter 5

It was Friday afternoon and he and Starsky had been scheduled off this weekend. So Hutch put off calling Captain Dobey. He stopped at the liquor store on his way into Serenity and bought two six packs of beer. At the last minute he put a bottle of whiskey on the counter too. Then he stopped at a small grocery store and bought enough staples to get him through the weekend.

As he was walking out of the grocery store he saw a pawn shop across the street. They had several guitars in the window. He locked his purchases in the trunk of his car and crossed the street to go into the pawn shop. Twenty minutes later he walked out with a guitar and a small television. He put the television and guitar in the back seat and headed out to the west side of town. He saw a police car coming his way and waved at the officer as he drove past.

He tried to keep his mind blank and drove on auto-pilot until he came to the driveway he’d been looking for. He turned onto the graveled drive and followed it away from the road through the trees that lined both sides. As he made the final turn the haven he had been running to appeared. 

Hutch had bought this house and land about a year ago using money he’d earned by investing in Hutchinson International stock. He had been spending days off up here working on the house. He had planned to bring Starsky up here next month. This was a sanctuary for them both. A place to get away from the city and the crime. Somewhere for them to be able to just relax and enjoy life… together. 

The house sat in the middle of ten acres. It was surrounded by thick forest on three sides. The fourth side was the ocean. He’d opened the house up to the ocean views by taking out a couple of walls and installing walls of windows and sliding glass doors. He’d added two patios and trimmed back brush that had been allowed to take over much of the back yard. The resulting ocean views were amazing. He’d been so excited to show the place to Starsky. Now it looked like he’d be living here alone.

After taking the groceries into the house he went back for the television, drinks, and the guitar. After he had put everything away he took one of the six packs and his new guitar outside to one of the patios. He set the beer and the guitar case on the table. He took the guitar out of the case and worked to tune it. It wasn’t as good as the guitar that Starsky had given him but that guitar was lost to him now. Just like Starsky was. 

He picked up a beer and opened it. “To your new life, Hutch. Alone.” He took a deep swallow as he watched the sun sinking into the ocean. He closed his eyes. He had been looking forward to bringing Starsky up here and to them sitting here together watching this. He squeezed his eyes shut to keep the tears building there from falling. 

He opened his eyes and wiped his sleeve across them. He chugged the beer he’d been holding and reached for a second one. Hutch began strumming a song on the guitar that had no words. He’d been working on this song and just had the guitar part down. No lyrics yet. He’d meant it to be a love song for his lover. Now it would serve as a hymn to lost love. 

As he played, he opened and drank beer after beer. He had gone into the house and brought the second six pack out. When the two six packs were gone he went inside for the bottle of whiskey. He brought it outside with him and sat at the table again. The sun was finally below the horizon leaving just a small arc of light. As the moon and stars began to shine Hutch put his guitar down on the table. He picked up the bottle of whiskey and drank straight from it instead of using the glass he had brought out with him. 

He shrugged his shoulders and realized he still had his holster and gun on. He slipped the holster and gun off and laid it on the table. He pulled the magnum out of the holster. He wondered if he should try to sell it. He didn’t think he could be a police officer again. Not without Starsky backing him up. He put the gun on the table because his hand was shaking and he couldn’t seem to slide it back into the holster. Looking back up at the sky everything looked misty and blurry. He reached up to touch his face and realized he was crying. He took a drink from the bottle and toasted his tears while doing so.

When the bottle was empty he tried to set it on the table. He missed and the bottle shattered on the cement patio beneath him. Hutch shook his head and instantly regretted it as the sky and ground began to exchange places. Closing his eyes, he put his head down on top of his hands on the table. Very shortly thereafter he was snoring.

***** 


	6. Chapter 6

Captain Dobey had an idea where Hutch might have headed to. He had written a letter of reference for him to the owner of the land Hutch had wanted to buy. He picked up his phone and called one of his old friends who just happened to be the Chief of Police for Serenity.

“Steve? Harold Dobey here. I’m calling from Bay City.”

“Harold! Man, it’s good to hear from you. How are your wife and the kids?”

“They’re all doing great. And your family?”

“Growing like weeds! Steve Junior is almost as tall as me now!” Steve laughed, and then he sobered. “What can I do for you, Harold?”

Dobey wasn’t surprised Steve had figured out he needed something. Steve always had been perceptive. “One of my detectives… had a shock and took off for parts unknown. He bought a house and some land up there, and I wondered if you might have seen him? Detective Kenneth Hutchinson…”

Steve interrupted, “I know Hutch. My deputies and I have helped him out a time or two with the house. We helped him take a couple walls out and put in a lot of windows. We also helped him pour a couple of patios. He’s a hard worker and has really made the old Carey place look new again. I haven’t seen him for a couple of months, but I can ask around if you want me to?”

“Please? But be discreet. I don’t want to spook him if he’s there.”

“You got it. I’ll do some checking and get back to you. Once this is settled maybe you could bring your family up for some fishing?”

“I’m sure the kids would love that and Edith would love to see Carolyn and your kids again. I’ll be waiting for your call.”

He hung up the phone. He was pretty sure he was right about where Hutch was. He thought about calling Starsky but decided not to tell him about his suspicions just yet.


	7. Chapter 7

Steve Easton drove up to the old Carey house the next morning. He had talked to one of his men who told him that he had seen Hutchinson the day before. He was going to make contact, then he would give Dobey a call. He saw Hutch’s beat up LTD parked toward the rear of the house. He drove up and parked behind it. 

He got out and looked around, still amazed at the changes Hutch had made to the house and grounds. It looked like a different place. He walked around to the back of the house. The first thing he saw were beer cans littering the patio. A lot of them. Then he saw the broken whiskey bottle. As he raised his gaze he saw Hutch’s hand on his gun. Hutch’s head was lying on the table. Steve’s heart sank.

“Hutchinson!”

Hutch didn’t move or respond.

He quickly stepped up to the table and started to put his fingers on Hutch’s neck but he noticed the slight rise and fall of Hutch’s back and the absence of blood on the table. Steve reached down and carefully removed the gun and holster. He put the gun in the holster and put it over his shoulder. He stepped back and called Hutch’s name again.

“Hutch?” 

Hutch heard his name. He turned his head to see who was talking to him and he immediately regretted moving. His stomach wanted to rebel and his brain told him the world was spinning so fast that he might get thrown off. He slowed his movements and was able to finally focus.

“Steve?”

“Yeah. You don’t look so great.”

“Don’t feel so great.” Hutch blinked his eyes and realized Steve had a gun slung over his shoulder that looked like Hutch’s. “My gun?” 

Steve patted the gun. “It’s yours. You had it in your hand when I walked up to you. I… ah took it because it didn’t look like you might be safe with it… right now.” Steve looked at the mess surrounding Hutch. 

“Uhhh… I guess I got a little drunk.”

“A little? If this wasn’t your property I’d arrest you for felony littering. But I can’t do that. Can’t arrest you for public drunkenness either because this is your place. But I might get away with ‘attempt to discharge a gun inside the city limits’, which is also questionable, because I’m not exactly sure where the town boundary is out here. So I thought I would hold onto this until we have a chance to talk.”

Hutch closed his eyes and rubbed his hands over his face.

Steve took pity on Hutch. “Why don’t you go get a shower while I make us a pot of coffee?”

Hutch tried to stand and staggered. Steve helped get him into the house and bathroom just before Hutch’s stomach lost its tenuous hold on its contents. Steve waited until Hutch stood back up and said, “Shower. Then we’ll talk over some coffee.” He pulled the door closed while saying, “Don’t lock this. I don’t want to have to break the door down if you fall.”

Hutch nodded and reached into the shower to turn on the water. The sound of running water made his bladder cramp and he barely had time to get his zipper down and his penis out before he was peeing. He braced himself against the wall with one hand until he was done. He put the lid down on the toilet and sat down to get undressed. As soon as he was naked he stood carefully and stepped into the steamy shower. 

The hot water felt heavenly on his cold skin. He braced both hands on the wall and leaned his head under the falling water. After standing like that for a few minutes he began to wash himself. He washed his hair then rinsed off with cooler water. He stepped out of the tub and dried off. He put on the robe hanging on the back of the door and managed to get to the bedroom without falling down.

He pulled some tan cords and a green t-shirt out of his closet and put them on. It was still a bit chilly in the house so he put on a flannel shirt. He wasn’t looking forward to talking to Steve but he knew, under the circumstances, that he was going to have to come up with an explanation.


	8. Chapter 8

The aroma of coffee greeted him as he walked into the kitchen. Steve sat at the table with a cup in front of him. He got up and poured a cup for Hutch. He set the cup on the table and nodded for Hutch to sit. “Food?”

Hutch shuddered. 

“Maybe later.” Steve chuckled. “Want to tell me what all that,” Steve motioned to the back yard, “was about?”

Hutch closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He picked up his coffee cup and took a few sips, giving himself time to decide how much, or what, he wanted to tell Steve. On one hand, Steve knew about his relationship with Starsky, but on the other hand, Hutch hadn‘t had time to process it all for himself. So he wasn’t sure he was ready to talk about it with someone else. He decided on a different subject.

“Why did you come out here this morning? How did you know I was here?”

“For one, one of my deputies saw you in town yesterday.” When Hutch nodded, Steve continued, “For another, Dobey called me and asked if I had seen you.”

Hutch felt his cheeks turn red. He should have known Starsky would ask Dobey to get involved. But how had Dobey known…? Then it hit him. Dobey had sent a reference letter to the Carey estate when Hutch had told him about wanting to purchase the property. Shit! Maybe he should just pack up and find some other place to stay for a while? 

“Hutch, I haven’t called him back. And I’m willing to wait a day or two if you want me to. But if he calls back up here, I’m not going to lie to him. Knowing him, if you ask him to, he would probably wait a day or two before telling Starsky. But you’re going to have to talk to him… to both of them at some point in time.”

“Yeah, I’d planned to call Cap’n Dobey this weekend to arrange a few days off. I should have known he would figure out where I was. As for talking to Starsky… not sure that will happen.” Hutch took a couple more sips of coffee. He was feeling a little bit more human. He kept his head down, staring at the table. 

“I’ve known you for a while, Hutch. Never thought I would see you back down from something. Especially from talking to the man who means the world to you. So, what’s going on? You need someone to talk to and I’m here. What you tell me stays between us. Talk to me.”

Hutch took a drink of his coffee and looked at Steve. He DID need someone to talk to. “I heard Starsky say he wanted to screw some woman. I walked into the squad room as he said it.” Hutch swallowed. “I took off running. And here I am. Guess I got a little carried away last night with my drinking.”

Steve nodded and said, “I can understand that. What concerned me was finding you with your hand on your gun when I walked up to you this morning. Hutch, you had your head on the table and your hand on your gun. I thought for a few seconds that you had shot yourself.”

Hutch’s eyes jerked up to look at Steve. “Oh, God. I’m sorry, Steve. I was upset, but not that upset. I guess I put my hand on the gun as a reflex. I didn’t want someone to grab it. Stupid of me, I know. I should have locked it in the gun safe.”

“Please do that.” Steve slid the gun and holster off his arm and handed it to Hutch. 

Hutch took the gun and set it on the table between them. “Thanks, Steve.”

“Are you sure you heard what you thought you heard? Is there any chance Starsky was kidding or…?”

“He was talking to a new detective who just transferred to Metro. He sounded serious. I don’t think he was kidding.”

“Could he have said it for some other reason?”

“No. Maybe? I don’t really know. I just needed to get away. Have some time to think.”

Steve nodded. “Okay, I’ll wait to call Dobey back until tomorrow. Unless you’re going to call him?”

“I’ll call him tomorrow. Give me today to decide what I want to do, okay, Steve?”

“Okay. Call me if you need to talk some more, or need anything. I gotta get to work.”

Hutch walked Steve out to his car. He turned and started to clean up all the beer cans and put them in the bin he had for aluminum cans. He grabbed the broom and dust pan and swept up the broken glass. When he finished, he sat back down at the table and mulled over what he had heard Starsky say and the questions Steve had posed. His mind continued to whirl. He got up and walked inside the house. He went to the bedroom and laid down on the bed. Maybe a little rest might help clear his mind.

*****


	9. Chapter 9

It didn’t take long for Hutch to fall asleep. He began to have very strange dreams. 

The first dream had him sitting on the couch with a woman named Jenny. They were hugging and kissing and doing some heavy petting. Suddenly Starsky was standing by the couch, crying. Hutch just kept kissing Callie and told Starsky, “Revenge is sweet, buddy.” When Starsky walked out of the house, Hutch stopped making out with Callie and asked her to leave. He told her “It’s me, not you.” He kissed her on the cheek and smiled sadly.

The next dream was much the same. He was on the couch with a woman who had said she “loved the blond guy” when he had walked by her in the grocery store. He had stopped and introduced himself and invited her to come out to his house. They had sat on the patio and chatted over a couple of drinks. Then they went inside to the couch where he acted much the same as he had with Callie. He was holding her tight and kissing her, passionately. 

Starsky again appeared and stood by the couch watching them. Hutch had glanced up at his face and saw utter devastation on it. But he kept kissing Paula, the beautiful woman in his arms, ignoring his partner. 

In the dream he heard a gunshot, got off the couch and walked out to the patio. 

Starsky was lying on the ground. His gun was lying on the ground next to him.

He realized what he had done, ran, and fell to his knees beside Starsky. 

Paula came out of the house and told Hutch she had to leave, that she couldn’t be around such violence.

Hutch reached over to turn his partner onto his back. Starsky spit some dirt out of his mouth and asked, “Did I get him?”

“Starsk? You’re not dead!”

“No, my heart may be broken, but I’m not dead. There was a snake on the sidewalk when I walked out here. Looked like a water moccasin. So I shot at it. But I tripped on the edge of the sidewalk and fell.”

Hutch jerked awake, trying to shake the disturbing dream from his mind. 

Was that what he wanted to do? Get revenge against Starsky? He thought about it and realized that he couldn’t do that to Starsky. No matter what he believed Starsky had done, he couldn’t do the same. He also couldn't do that to some innocent woman. No, seeking revenge wasn't what he wanted.

He got a glass of ice water and walked out to sit on the patio. He could hear the tide coming in, so he sat and watched the waves, listening to the comforting sounds they made. He decided he would call Dobey then decide about talking to Starsky.


	10. Chapter 10

He went back inside the house and picked up the phone. He dialed the number for Captain Dobey’s office. 

“Dobey here.”

“Captain. It’s… It’s Hutch.”

“Hutch! You okay?”

“Yeah. Sorry, Cap’n, I had some thinking to do, and decided to come up to the house. Steve was by this morning and said you’d called him. Look, I just need a day or two. Could you not tell Starsky…”

Dobey interrupted him. “Ken, what you heard wasn’t what it sounded like. Dave said that to Stewart to see what Stewart would say. He was doing that because I asked him to. If you hadn’t been late, you would have been in on it too.” Dobey paused and said, “Ken, he loves you. And he’s sick about you taking off. I’m telling you this was a misunderstanding. Call him. You owe him the chance to tell you.”

“You… you… you know? A… about us?”

“Like I told Starsky, yes. Probably before you two admitted it to each other.” Dobey laughed and continued, “I didn’t make Captain because I was blind to what was going on around me.”

Hutch blushed. Had they been that obvious to everyone but themselves? 

“I told Starsky that what you two did on your own time was your business. You two are my best detectives… and like sons to Edith and I. We only want your happiness.”

“Thanks, Captain. About Starsky… I was planning on calling him. But not today. At least not yet. I need some time to process what you said. Could you hold off on telling him where I am?”

“I won’t tell him where you are, but if he asks, I will tell him that I talked to you and you’re okay.”

“Fair enough.”

***** 

Starsky woke up and reached across the bed for Hutch. When his hand found only linens, and not his partner, he remembered that Hutch had run. And why. He had spent the night at his lover’s just in case he came back. His sleep, what little he had gotten, had been filled with dreams of him alone for the rest of his life. He had tossed and turned. He finally fell asleep with Hutch’s pillow clutched to his chest. 

Rolling out of bed, he made his way to the bathroom. After relieving himself, he got in the shower and tried to wash the nightmares from his mind. He dried off and headed to the kitchen. He started a pot of coffee and went back to the bedroom to get dressed. He found some of his clothes in Hutch’s closet and put them on. At the last minute he pulled one of Hutch’s flannel shirts on over his t shirt. It was a small thing, but it made him feel closer to his lover.

He went out to the kitchen and poured a cup of coffee. The phone rang and he ran to grab it. “Hutch?”

“No, man, it’s Huggy.”

“Oh. Why are you up so early?”

“Ain't been to bed. Been chasing down leads on my blond brother… “

Starsky interrupted him. “You found him?!”

“Easy, easy Starsky. Give me a chance to tell ya.”

“Sorry. I just need to know, Hug.”

“I get that man. You ever hear of a town up north named Serenity?”

“That’s it! Hutch mentioned it, but I couldn’t remember. Is he there?”

“’Cording to word I got, Hutch bought a house and land up there. Been working on it for a while now. Getting’ it all cleaned up. Some people been keepin’ an eye on him. Thinkin’ they might be able to hit him up there.”

“Who?” Starsky poured his coffee out and unplugged the coffee pot. He was ready to run out the door to find Hutch. 

“Remember Devon and his brother Ricky?”

“Yeah. Thought they were locked up?”

“They broke out two days ago. Word is they’ve been lookin’ for Hutch to get even. My bird told me the brothers saw Hutch drivin’ outta town and followed him. They’re plannin’ on hitting him tonight. Guess he’s been a little distracted and they think he’ll be easy pickins’.”

“Where is he? Where is this house?”

“On the west side of town. Between it and the ocean. On a street called ‘Sunshine Road’. And, Starsk, the local sheriff is friends with Dobey. Him and his deputies helped Hutch get the place fixed up. Might want to give him a call.”

“On it.” 

“Just get there in time. Hutch without you beside him might be an easier target to take out.”

“Thanks, Huggy. I owe ya. Big time.” Starsky hung up the phone and called Dobey.


	11. Chapter 11

Starsky had packed a few things after talking to Dobey and asking him to call Steve to warn him about the Street brothers. Dobey was wiring photos of the brothers to Serenity. Dobey had assured him that Steve and his deputies were excellent officers, but he didn’t trust Hutch’s safety to anyone but himself. He was racing up the Interstate with the MARS light flashing and the siren wailing. He guided the car in and out of traffic much like an Indy 500 driver. He kept checking his watch. He had to get there before something happened to Hutch.

Dobey had said he would also call Hutch to warn him. But what if Hutch had been outside or gone and hadn’t heard the phone? He gripped the wheel tighter and wished the Torino could fly. He had the directions to Serenity and to the place his partner had bought lying on the seat beside him. He distracted himself with questions about why Hutch had purchased the land and house. Had he been planning on leaving him? He couldn’t make himself believe that. Hutch had told him that he loved him. His partner wasn’t one to lie. So why purchase a house in a small town? He’d have to wait and ask Hutch those questions. 

“God, will this traffic ever thin out?” He finally caught some free space and pushed down on the accelerator to take advantage of the open lanes. He was in the far left lane when he saw a sign saying the Serenity exit was three miles ahead. He signaled and moved over lane by lane and took the exit. Quickly looking at the directions, he turned left at the bottom of the ramp and headed toward the town. He never quit thinking, “Hutch, I’m on the way, be careful.”

***** 

Starsky heard gunshots as he pulled up to Hutch’s house. He quickly stopped the Torino and ran to stand against the side of the house. He could hear Hutch’s magnum, so he knew where Hutch was. He listened to the sounds of two other guns and realized they were trying to flank Hutch on both sides. 

The garage was close to the house so he dashed across the open area and worked his way around the garage, drawing his gun as he ran. He peeked around the edge and saw one of the Street brothers taking aim at Hutch’s back. He quickly sighted on the gunman and fired. He was just a second late and he heard the man’s gun fire and saw Hutch drop to the ground.  
“HUUUTCHHHH!” He ran toward the man he had shot and quickly checked him. He was dead. He didn’t waste any more time on him but hurried to where he had seen Hutch fall. 

When he was about twenty feet from Hutch he saw the other brother move away from where he had been hiding. He yelled, “Police! Drop your gun!” Instead of the complying, the gun man turned to aim at Starsky. Before he could fire Starsky did. The man fell with a bullet hole in the middle of his forehead. 

Starsky could hear sirens coming as he hurried to Hutch’s side. He fell to his knees beside him and carefully rolled him over. He saw blood on the left side of Hutch’s shirt. His heart was racing and his hands were shaking. He carefully unbuttoned the shirt and slid it off his left arm. He sighed with relief as he saw it was just a flesh wound and that the bleeding was already slowing down. He pulled Hutch onto his lap and pulled his head to rest against his chest. He kissed the top of his head and held him as tightly as he could. “Hutch? Hey, Babe? Wake up for me.” He kept murmuring to him even as Steve and his deputies came around the corner of the house with guns drawn. 

Starsky held up the hand not holding onto Hutch. “Bay City PD. I’m Hutch’s partner, David Starsky.” He put his hand back down on Hutch’s head when he saw the other men relax. “One of the brothers is over by that tree.” He pointed. “The other’s over by the corner of the house. They’re both dead. Hutch was shot. Can you get… “ He trailed off as he saw EMTs coming around the corner of the house.

He reluctantly let them take Hutch and put him on the gurney they had rolled up to them. As they moved Hutch, Starsky noticed a bruise forming on Hutch’s forehead. “He must have hit his head on something when he fell.” 

“Starsk?” 

He quickly looked down and saw Hutch looking up at him with those clear blue eyes he loved so much. “Hutch! You’re awake!”

“What happened?” Hutch reached his left hand up and rubbed his forehead. The movement caused pain to shoot from his left arm, down his side. He winced and tried to remember what had happened.

“The Street brothers came looking for you. They just about had you flanked when I got here. I shot Devon, but not before he got a shot off and hit you. 

One EMT was cleaning Hutch’s upper left side where the bullet had scraped away skin. As he did that, another was checking Hutch’s neuros. The first put a dressing on the bullet wound. The second asked Hutch what his name was and did he know where he was. 

Hutch almost answered, “With the man I love.”, but told the man his name and that he was at his house outside of Serenity. He kept looking up at Starsky trying to figure out how he had gotten there and, more importantly, why he was there. 

Starsky leaned down and touched his forehead to Hutch’s. “Later, Babe… I’ll tell you later.” He answered the questions Hutch hadn’t asked. 

Steve came over, after securing the brother’s guns. He shook Starsky’s hand. “Good you got here so quick. We got held up by a train of all things!” He faced Hutch. “You okay?”

“Yeah. Thanks, Steve.”

The EMTs wanted to take Hutch to the hospital, but he refused. Starsky told them he was used to taking care of his partner and knew what to watch for with the bump on Hutch’s head. The coroner arrived and picked up the bodies while both Hutch and Starsky gave their versions of what had happened. They promised to drive into town the next day to sign their statements. 

When everyone was gone but Starsky, and they were sitting at the picnic table, Hutch asked the question foremost on his mind, “What are you doing here?”

“Huggy heard about the Street brothers looking to hit you.” Starsky looked at Hutch. “But I would have come, even if you weren’t in danger.” He looked down then back up into Hutch’s eyes. “We need to talk, Hutch.”

Hutch nodded. He knew Starsky was right. “Let’s go in the house.”

They walked into the house and Hutch grabbed a couple of beers but Starsky said, “No beer for you right now. You got any sodas? I’ll have one too.”

Hutch put the beers back and pulled out a couple of Cokes. They moved into the living room and Hutch sank into a chair while Starsky sat on the sofa. Starsky was looking around the room. He noticed the large glass doors that framed a beautiful view of the ocean. “Nice place.”

“Thanks. Been workin’ on it for a while.”

“We really gonna talk about the view and the house? Wanna talk about the weather, too?” Starsky was a little angry, with the adrenaline rush fading from his system. “What the hell, Hutch? Why didn’t you stop and talk to me instead of running away? What happened to ‘me and thee’? What happened to trust, huh, Buddy?”

Hutch stood up and walked over to look out the doors Starsky had been looking out of. He dropped his head and took a deep breath. He knew it was time to come clean with Starsky. He just wasn’t sure where to start. He took another deep breath, walked back toward his partner and sank back into the chair. Even though he really wanted… no needed to sit by Starsky. Right now he didn’t think he had the right.

He took a deep breath and began to speak, “Starsk, when I heard you saying you wanted some woman… it hit me hard.”

“Hutch… “

“Let me get this out.” Hutch was clutching the Coke bottle so hard he was amazed it didn’t shatter. “I thought, that once again, ‘I’ wasn’t enough.”

“What the hell does that mean?!” Starsky was glaring at Hutch.

Hutch looked at Starsky with a face full of resignation. “You know my dad was disappointed in me. He hated that I didn’t want to follow him into his business. He thought I had let him down. He told me to leave and not to come crawling back when I realized what a mistake I had made. I wasn’t ‘enough’ for him.”

“Hutch, you… “

Hutch interrupted him again. “Then there was Abbie. She got hurt because of me. She left because I wasn’t there to keep her safe. If it hadn’t been for me, she wouldn’t have been hurt. I wasn’t ‘enough’ for her.

“Then you got shot by Gunther’s men. I should have been more alert. I should have yelled sooner. I wasn’t ‘enough’ for you then.

“I’ve seen all the women, the beautiful women you’ve loved. How could I compete with them? How could I be ‘enough’?”

He dropped his head. He sat the Coke on the table beside his chair and walked back over to look outside. “I’m not sure I can be ‘enough’ for you now either, Starsky.”

Stunned, Starsky sat there for a minute. He started talking as he got up and walked toward Hutch. “You’re right, Hutch, you’re not ‘enough’.” He noticed Hutch’s body jerk as if he had punched him. He was standing right behind the blond when he said, “You’re not ‘enough’… you are ‘EVERYTHING’! Don’t you see, Hutch? You are way more than ‘enough’ for me. You are my ‘everything’. I love you. I love you, Hutch. There isn’t another person in the world, other than Ma, who I love more.

“I was testing Stewart…”

Hutch interrupted. “I know. Dobey told me when I called him.” He paused then continued, “I got scared. And I ran.”

“Oh, Babe.” Starsky turned Hutch around and pulled his head down to his shoulder. He rubbed his hands up and down Hutch’s back. “Don’t you know by now that you can’t run from me? Don’t you know I will always run after you?” Starsky stepped back and waited for Hutch to raise his head and look him in the eyes. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you how I felt back when you admitted your love for me. I’m sorry I didn’t wait for you to get to the station before I said that to Stewart. But, mostly I’m sorry I was almost too late getting here today. If I’d been a little quicker… “

It was Hutch’s turn to stop Starsky’s speech. “No, Babe. You got here in the nick of time. I’d have been dead if you hadn’t shown up when you did.”

They both shuddered as that thought hit them. Starsky pulled Hutch close again and this time Hutch’s arms went around Starsky’s waist. 

“I’m sorry, Starsk.”

“Me too, Hutch. I should have waited. Should have tried harder to find you faster.”

“You never would have caught me on those spindly bowed-legs of yours.”

“True. Those legs of yours go on forever.” Starsky paused, “Especially when they’re wrapped around my waist.”

Hutch blushed. He looked Starsky in the eyes. “I’m sorry. I guess I let my insecurities get the best of me sometimes. We okay?” 

“If this Taj Mahal of yours has a bedroom, we are more than ‘okay’, Babe.”

“Ours.”

“What?”

“This is ‘our’ Taj Mahal. I bought it for us. Been working on updating it a bit. Was gonna bring you up here next weekend. It’s for us to get away to.”

“How did you afford this? By the ocean? You know what places like this cost?” Starsky was incredulous.

Hutch snickered. “Yeah, Starsk, I know. I bought the place.” He grinned at his partner. “I’ve been investing some money in daddy’s company for years. Finally cashed in most of the stocks and bought this place. For us.”

“For real? It’s ours?” Starsky continued to stare at Hutch.

“Well, yeah.” Hutch stopped as a thought occurred to him. “Unless… uhh… you don’t like it?”

“I love it, Blondie. Not as much as I love you, but I love it!” Starsky grabbed Hutch and pulled him in tight to his chest. “We okay now?”

“Yeah, if you can forgive me.”

“Already done. And you’ve forgiven me?”

“Done.” 

They stood, arms around each other and just looked in each other’s eyes. Blue on blue.

Hutch broke the spell by saying, “Wanna see our bedroom, Starsk?”

“I thought you’d never ask, Hutch.”

*****

They walked into the bedroom arm in arm, stopping to kiss every few steps. 

The bedroom was painted a pale blue with dark blue curtains surrounding floor to ceiling glass doors and windows that made up the entire wall facing the ocean. Because of the brush Hutch had cleared, the ocean was easily seen. The bed had a silk quilt on top of it made of light and dark blue patterns. The sheets were blue to match the color of Starsky’s eyes. It had taken months for Hutch to find just the right shade. The carpet was a short, light blue color. The color scheme gave the room a very peaceful and relaxed feeling.

He had purchased oil paintings of seascapes that complimented the colors in the room. He had also purchased some brass sconces and decorations which complimented the brass headboard. It was similar to the brass headboard in his apartment. He knew Starsky liked it so he was glad to have found one for this house. 

Starsky stopped just inside the door and took in the entire room. “Damn, Hutch. This is… this is… almost as beautiful as you.” He grabbed Hutch and grinned before kissing him deeply.

Hutch began to strip off Starsky’s clothes, kissing him every few seconds. He was about to pull off Starsky’s jeans when Starsky stopped him. “Babe… the curtains are open.”

“It’s okay. The glass is treated so it can’t be seen through.” He noticed Starsky’s look of disbelief. “It’s a new technology. I wanted to be able for us to lay here and still see the sun setting over the ocean.”

“Really? No one can see through?”

“Really. No one can see in, but we can see out.”

“You amaze me, Hutch. How did you hear about them?”

Hutch looked down and blushed. “Hutchinson International came up with the formula and markets them. Exclusively. I read about it in my stockholder’s newsletter.” He shrugged. “So I decided to test them out.”

Starsky laughed and pulled Hutch closer so he could begin to undress him. 

When they were both naked they stood about two foot apart and just looked at each other. They both seemed a bit tentative, almost shy. Almost as one they stepped forward and wrapped their arms around each other. Starsky was very careful not to put pressure on the dressing over Hutch’s wound. They stood there, embracing, exchanging love and forgiveness without speaking a word. 

“Will you make love to me?” Both spoke the same words, almost in unison.

“Yes.” Again in unison.

Hutch stepped back and took Starsky’s hand. He led him to the bed and pulled the quilt and top sheet down. “I bought these sheets because the color reminded me of your eyes.” Hutch put his hands on Starsky’s face and kissed his eyes closed. “I was going to burn them… when I thought I had lost you.”

“I suggest we do a different kind of ‘burning’ them, lover.” Starsky kissed Hutch deeply and fell into the bed, pulling Hutch in after him. 

They ended up in a tangle of arms and legs, rolling and mock-wrestling with each other. Laughter rang out in the room from both of them. 

Hutch ended up under Starsky. They had stopped tussling at the same time. He looked up at his lover and quietly spoke, “Make love to me, Starsk. Let me feel you deep inside me, loving me.” He started to roll over, but Starsky stopped him.

“Stay like you are. I want to watch your eyes. I love making love to you like this. I love seeing everything you’re feeling in your eyes. I love watching you come apart.”

Hutch felt tears well up in his eyes as he heard what his lover said. He blinked them away and reached under the pillow on the other side of the bed. He pulled out a tube of slick gel and handed it to Starsky. He watched as Starsky took off the lid and coated his hard cock from tip to base. He couldn’t help but moan as he saw Starsky’s hand slowly stroking up and down his hard shaft. He lifted his hips off the bed as Starsky moved to coat his anus with the gel. When Starsky pushed his finger inside it was all he could do to keep from coming. He had closed his eyes and when he opened them he saw the knowing, loving smile on his lover’s face. 

“Take me, Babe. Take me to the stars.”

Starsky wasted no time in complying with his lover’s request. He dropped the tube of gel over the side of the bed and slid his hands under Hutch’s ass to lift him up. His cock naturally found its place against Hutch. He began to slowly push, rocking back and forth. When the head slid in past the tight outer ring he gasped and paused. He looked away from Hutch’s soft blue eyes and saw the sweet smile of welcome on his lips.

He began to push harder, rock deeper and within a few strokes was fully seated inside Hutch. He held still and leaned down to kiss his lover deeply. “I love you, Hutch.”

“I love you, Starsk.” Hutch kissed him back then rocked his hips up, inviting Starsky to move.

They made love slowly, taking their time, as opposed to rushing to completion. Starsky kept his eyes on Hutch’s and Hutch kept his eyes open, on his lover’s. So much was communicated between them, without either saying a word. 

“I’m sorry.” 

“I forgive you. Do you forgive me?” 

“Yes. Always.”

“I love you.”

“I love you.”

Soon, both started moving with more purpose. Starsky pushed deeper… harder.

Hutch lifted into his lover faster… higher.

Both started to sweat as they neared their orgasms. Starsky braced himself with his hands on either side of Hutch. Hutch had his hands on Starsky’s hips, urging him on. Both kept their eyes locked on the other’s, until the very end.

“Love?” Starsky panted out.

“Yes. Now.” Hutch managed to say.

Starsky felt his balls tighten and his lower spine tingle. His blood was rushing and he knew he couldn’t hold out any longer. He plunged deeply and Hutch’s ass arched up to meet him. He let himself go and pumped everything he had into Hutch. He cried out at the same time Hutch did. 

Hutch had been pumping his own cock between their bodies and had come at the same time Starsky had. 

Starsky’s arms buckled and he fell on top of his lover.

Hutch managed to put his arms around the small of Starsky’s back, holding him tightly, before they fell back into the bed. He felt boneless, weightless. When Starsky started to roll to the side, he managed to lift his arms again to hold him in place. 

“Too… heavy.” Starsky managed to pant out.

“Never… stay.” Hutch answered, even as he felt his lover’s cock slip out of him. 

They remained locked together by their sweat and Hutch’s come until Hutch finally rolled to his side, taking Starsky with him. Both shifted until they were comfortable, but still wrapped up in each other. 

Hutch reached to the side and pulled the covers over them. Starsky pulled his pillow closer and shared it with Hutch. They were lying face to face. 

They exchanged soft kisses; moving back only when one needed another breath.

“Now do you believe you are more than enough for me? Do you understand that you are my everything?”

“Yes. I do believe and understand. Do you believe that I love you with everything in me?”

“I have never doubted that.”

“I was a fool.”

“Yeah you were." Starsky chuckled. But, so was I.”

Hutch chuckled. “A pair of fools… madly in love. Sounds pretty good to me.”

“Me too, Babe. Me too. Sounds perfect.”

As they were drifting off to sleep, Starsky yawned and said, “You sure no one can see in?”

Hutch yawned out a soft laugh. “Bit late to worry about that now. Go to sleep, lover. I’ll show you later.”

They fell asleep in each other’s arms surrounded by love.

**Author's Note:**

> Readers,  
> Thank you for your patience on this story.  
> I apologize for it taking so long.  
> Hopefully any more stories will be posted when completed.  
> Thank you again.  
> KS


End file.
